| I don't know why am I even hanging on to this relationship.
I know that nothing will eventually come out of it.
I keep thinking that things might change.(it won't)
This shortlived happiness, is it worth it?
Because I know, the more I hold onto this, the more it'll hurt when it ends, AGAIN.
It already ended once, and I couldnt bear it, what'll happen the second time round?
I know, you're someone with not much initiative, yet I keep making up things in my mind.
And I know that you can't love me back the way I do, its just not you to do that.
I tell myself that I'll be fine loving you and you not loving me back(just let me love you),
but frankly speaking, will I be fine?
How not to expect anything when I'm giving you my all but you're not?
Indeed, I'm ultra happy when I'm with you(I could smile all day just looking at you!)
But deep down, I really want to know what're you thinking about.
I want to know the exact reason why are you treating me this way,
it's definitely not like what you say, just because I'm a cute boy. (-_-)
I want you to treat me exactly like how you treat others!
I'm afraid that you're only treating me this nice now because I might lose it again,
because I might become upset/depressed/angry at you.
If that's the case you're treating me this way, I'd rather you come clean to me.
I want to stop loving you, so we'll both be free from it.(but you're such a perfect catch!)
Honestly, I do not know what I want, exactly.
I want you but I can't want you so I push you away but then I realise I can't do without you so now I got you back but now I realise we can't be possible so I'm trying to push you away AGAIN but it hurts AGAIN so now what I'm doing is to keep you with me.
In order to keep you with me, I've to stop loving you slowly, and to stop expecting, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, I NEED TO MEET SOMEONE NEW. (T_T)
Yes, I need to meet someone new(as good a catch as you, be glad that you're the benchmark!). |
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